Traveling with Rob is always an adventure, but this time, it was next level. Things kicked off with a sunscreen showdown at Toronto TSA. Apparently, Rob thought a gallon of SPF 50 was "travel-sized." Spoiler: TSA disagreed. The sunscreen lost.

Onboard, Rob’s snack dreams were crushed when an allergy alert banned his beloved Clif bars and almonds. With zero backup snacks, it was a long, nut-free flight.

Landing at SXM felt more like a test of endurance. The terminal is mid-renovation chaos, and customs was the island’s unofficial welcome party—complete with lines longer than your patience.

But the best part? A less-than-1km cab ride to the Sonesta Maho Beach Resort cost $10+. That’s right, ten bucks to travel less distance than it takes to find your room key in your carry-on. At least the resort comes with a bonus show: planes skimming the beach so close, your sunscreen (if you still had any) could’ve been blown off.

Moral of the story: travel light and lower your expectations.

If you’re not throwing your towel onto a beach chair 

 your morning coffee, consider yourself out of luck. We managed a decent spot behind the crowd but had to play shade-chasing musical chairs by 2 p.m.

Breakfast was a mixed bag: smoothie was meh, but the gluten-free muffin? Pure magic. Lunch redeemed the day with stellar chicken wings and solid fries—definitely worth a repeat.

Poolside entertainment was lively, but the room’s windows deserve an award for blocking out the noise for a post-lunch nap. Dinner featured some good ham, which says a lot because "buffet ham" isn’t usually a highlight.

The evening’s entertainment? A "Rock Star Juggler" at the Casino Royale. Mike Price was juggling more than just props—Rob loved his flop sweat as much as the act.

The strip outside the resort? Classic tourist trap territory. We took one stroll and quickly remembered why we prefer to stay poolside with chicken wings.

Our first NYE at a resort, and we nailed the daytime vibe: chilling on the beach. Rob discovered Maho Bay is a snorkeler's paradise—calm waters, colorful fish, plus bonus turtles and rays. Definitely the highlight of the day!

Food-wise, we’ve learned to embrace the buffet. Consistency is key, and it’s the safest bet when seafood "gala" dinners are involved. Spoiler: it wasn’t much of a gala.

Sadly, no karaoke to embarrass ourselves this year. But the night redeemed itself with a solid live band and a front-row view of midnight fireworks over Maho Bay. It wasn’t epic, but it wasn’t bad—just a chilled way to ring in the new year.

Our last day at Maho was perfectly low-key—relaxing on the beach while Rob snorkeled alongside a turtle for nearly the entire length of the bay, a true bucket-list moment. Afterward, we hit the buffet one last time (we’ve officially embraced it) and grabbed some classic plane-landing shots at Maho Beach. Now it’s time to pack up for tomorrow’s move to the Horny Toad, where the next chapter of our island adventure awaits!

After checking out of the Sonesta, we realized how easy mornings can be when loungers aren't a competitive sport! Lesson learned: traveling over the holidays isn’t for us—too expensive, too crowded, and way too many kids. Next time, we’ll wait until after New Year’s.

We checked into The Horny Toad Guest House, run by Debbie & Doug, and stayed in Unit #6 (second from the right on the ground floor). The view was great, though the second floor might offer more privacy. That said, we loved the convenience of walking straight out onto the sand. Downsides? Rough towels and no doors on the bedroom or bathroom—not ideal for a longer stay.

Lunch was beachside at Mary’s Boon Hotel—great vibes! Afterward, we grabbed $35 SIM cards (note for next time: add call data). Dinner was grilled mahi mahi takeout from Boca restaurant—tasty but overpriced. The Toad’s 5:30 happy hour is a daily tradition, though Kim wasn’t thrilled about the mandatory mingling. At least the shops and restaurants nearby make up for it!

We drove clockwise around the island—a scenic, twisty adventure with a few “Where are we?” moments. Lunch at Enoch’s Place didn’t go as planned since they’d sold out of everything we wanted, but we made do with fishcakes (not bad!).

Back at the Horny Toad, we joined happy hour, mingled with fellow guests, and heard Rob’s snorkeling tales of spotting a local octopus and a giant stingray. Dinner was takeout stew peas and pig’s tail from Boca—an adventurous end to a slightly chaotic, totally fun day.

Rob kicked off the day with his usual morning swim before we attempted the Sint Rose “Shopping Mall” (it’s really a sprawling outdoor district with zero parking). After giving up, we hit the massive Carrefour Market SXM instead—if they don’t have it, you don’t need it.

At Little Bay Beach, we scored a shady spot and enjoyed amazing snorkeling by the Tiki Hut platform and nearby wrecks (boats and even a helicopter!). Rob had another turtle encounter—a 3-footer this time.

Kim chatted with a friendly local, “Bully,” while his grandkids played nearby. Too sun-tired for uphill hikes, we grabbed chicken and ribs from Captain’s Rib Shack (good, but not quite “orgasmic”). We ended the day with a relaxing beach walk to the airport and back—because why not?

We kicked off the day at Rainforest Adventure St. Maarten with zip-lining, breathtaking 360° views, and the grand finale: The Flying Dutchman, the world’s steepest zipline. Dropping 1,050 feet at 56 mph over 2,800 feet? Absolutely epic!

Unfortunately, the staff mix-up landed us on the less-thrilling Schooner Tube Ride right after. Let’s just say The Dutchman was a hard act to follow. We grabbed some groceries and called it a day—because after flying like superheroes, everything else felt a bit “meh.”

A chill day at home, lounging under the palm trees, chasing shade, and reading to the sound of waves. Pure bliss! Kim braved a less-than-idyllic walk to Market Garden for salmon and grapes—dusty roads, too many cars, and zero sidewalks.

The highlight? A stop at Endless Summer Beachwear, where Kim treated herself to a fabulous, sexy bikini. Christmas bonus well spent, and now she’s ready to turn heads on the beach!

Rob had a big day underwater with three “Adventure Dives.” First was training at Porpoise (26m, 30 min) to master his skills, followed by Peak Performance Buoyancy at the Carib Cargo wreck (20m, 40 min)—a hauntingly cool dive on one of St. Maarten’s best wrecks. He wrapped up with a Navigation Dive at The Gregory (16m, 45 min), where his compass skills… let’s just say, need work. Highlights included trevally schools, stingrays, French grunts, yellow snappers, and clawless Caribbean lobsters chilling in the wrecks.

Meanwhile, Kim played travel agent, booking our trip to Belize, and we ended the day with a beach walk and home-cooked salmon with mango salad and coleslaw. Then the AC quit around midnight, and Kim’s mood turned as hot as the room!

A low-key day close to home with a long beach walk and finally wrapping up our Belize trip plans. Rob whipped up black beans for dinner—simple and tasty.

The real drama came overnight when the AC decided to quit repeatedly. Let’s just say, sleeping in a sauna isn’t on anyone’s vacation wish list!

Rob was back in the water, finishing his "Adventure Dives" to earn his Advanced Open Water qualification. First up was a redo of the Navigation Dive at The Gregory (16m, 45min), and this time he nailed it—no compass confusion!

Next, he tackled the Delayed Surface Marker Buoy Dive at The Bridge (16m, 45min), mastering the skills needed for safe surfacing. With his Advanced certification nearly in hand, Rob’s diving game is officially leveled up!

Rob hit a big milestone today—his 11th dive and earning his Advanced Open Water (AOW) certification alongside his new dive buddy, Dwayne, a chef from the Seychelles. Their instructor, Adam Gadd, a tough former soldier from the UK, made sure they learned well.

Meanwhile, Kim went to the Secret Seafood House at the beach—great food, great drinks, and a nice buzz to go with it. Oh, and laundry got done too. We’re officially at the halfway point, so why not take care of all the essentials?

A laid-back day with a few highlights: Rob joined me for dinner at the Secret Seafood House on the north end of the beach—delicious and worth the stroll. Big news: the AC is finally fixed (hallelujah!), and we swapped our car for a smaller one with a security club because apparently, car theft is a thing here.

Tomorrow, we’re off to Les Balcons Oyster on the French side with an early check-in. Au revoir, Horny Toad—it’s been real!

We checked into Les Balcons Oysters, which is definitely... minimalist. One sad roll of 1-ply TP, no paper towels, beach towels are a rental, and beach chairs are BYO (we scrounged some borrowed ones). The kitchen lacks an oven, so we had to get creative and bake muffins on the BBQ. Plus, the upstairs bed? A sauna with steep stairs, so we opted for the downstairs pull-out to avoid midnight stair adventures.

On the bright side, the covered back deck is lovely with a ceiling fan, propane grill, loungers, and a dining table—though Kim’s mosquito pet peeve flared up. No screens on the doors or deck?!

Dinner was a saga. OASIS and the crêperie turned us away reservation-less, but Mama Pizza saved the night. We ended up seated next to George and Rosie from North Carolina, whose wild travel story made for fantastic dinner conversation. A rocky start, but not a bad ending!

Went back to Carrefour Market SXM  to pick up stuff. Dawn Beach  was a bust (we just didn’t find it). Almost didn’t make it up a huuggge hill in our little rental car! Felt like we were going to tip over! Rob only admitted how nervous he was after we had made it. Got approached by a salesperson from Westin selling time-shares. Need t-shirts that say “We are not the suckers you are looking for” lol. 

Stopped at the little French market  Bread and Butter Résidence Les Rochers, 97150, Saint Martin . Robbie made me a great grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Rob says to treat this place more like a cottage experience. Enjoy the deck overlooking the water. Check out little local shops, grill, chill. This helps with the disappointment of no real beaches on this side of the Island. 

We kicked off the day at Friar’s Bay Beach—an okay spot but nothing to write home about. The hike to Happy Bay Beach was scenic and peaceful (note for next time: bring pants). Rob snorkeled over but wasn’t impressed, so it’s official—we need one more visit to Little Bay Beach for its top-notch snorkeling.

Lunch was at Gutside Cafe, where Richard, the friendly chef/owner, served up stewed pork and conch. The food was tasty, but at island-inflated prices, it felt a bit steep. Good vibes, though—we’ll take it!

A stay-in-and-chill kind of day. Kim finalized Belize plans, sticking with her original bookings—sometimes simpler is better!

We took a stroll back to Bread and Butter Grocery for salmon and cream cheese, and Rob handled dinner like a pro, grilling cod and frozen veggies to perfection. Way better than Kim’s previous frying attempt (her words, not mine). Some days, low-key wins!

Sint Maarten Diary