Day 0: Toronto – Lisbon, or “The Art of Airport People-Watching”

We left Toronto with optimism, two carry-ons, and a dream. After all, how hard could 12 weeks of minimalist travel be? (Answer: TBD). The flight was delayed two hours, but that gave us time to bond with a charming couple heading to the Algarve. Our carry-on-only strategy duly impressed them, though a nosy man with unsolicited travel advice tried to steal the spotlight. His wife wisely ignored him—an expert move.

Once airborne, dinner was a surprisingly decent beef lasagna and a brownie we’d gladly eat again. However, the true in-flight entertainment was Rob's seatmate, who spent hours ignoring an “Error: Done Watching?” message on his screen and made Kim limbo under his headphone cord to get to the bathroom. Truly a masterclass in obliviousness.

After some sleep-deprived hours (Rob’s back: 0, airplane seat: 1), we landed in Lisbon, only to remember that Uber is a miracle and so is Google Maps.

Day 1: Lisbon’s Locks, Elevators, and Giant Servings

Our first challenge: finding the hotel entrance. Pro tip: if your hotel hides behind bushes and looks like a restaurant, you’re in for an adventure. After solving the mystery, we discovered Brown's Boutique Hotel (R. da Vitória 88, 1100-619 Lisboa, Portugal) has the tiniest elevator known to humankind. It felt like stepping into a vertical coffin—cozy! Our final challenge was the frustrating hotel door lock, Rob finally solved it. 

We walked down five European storeys (A Canadian 6 is a European 5 - just like Rob) and wandered down to the riverfront, where a man blew enormous bubbles like a magician. Then, it was off to the Time Out Market. After scouting the stalls, Kim's codfish fritters and clams were divine, though tragically breadless, while Rob revelled in roasted codfish with chickpea mousse. All on real plates and cutlery! Fancy.

While walking off lunch, we stumbled upon a cool Brutalist building with a hidden water feature. It was equal parts art installation and "What is this and where is the entrance?" vibe. Signage is kept to a minimum, but apparently, it belongs to "edp" a global energy company. They got the big bucks.

Siesta time back at the hotel was a necessity,  because we took a recommendation from our close personal friend Anthony Bourdain (thanks, Netflix) and headed to Cantinho do Avillez for dinner. Kim's oxtail risotto could feed a family of four, and Rob enjoyed cod so fancy it came with exploding olives.

Lesson of the day: Lisbon has hills. Google Maps doesn’t tell you how steep they are.

Day 2: Walking Tours, Canned Seafood, and Artistic Missteps

The day started with a brisk 3-hour walking tour led by our guide Joanna, who was lovely, though the temperature wavered between “shiver-worthy” and “lightly sweating.” Layers were key.

Joanna allowed how she was never remembering our names,  but she remembered Countries, so we were Canada. There were people from Netherlands, Wales, Georgia, USA (Why did they get a state?) along with university students doing some sort of business co-op. Kim was suspicious when they kept asking us how we heard of the tour, turns out they were consulting for the tour company!

Lunch was at Sol e Pesca on Pink Street, a fishing-themed nook where canned seafood reigns supreme. Kim’s cod liver toast was tasty but plain, while Rob discovered that Piri Piri sauce can rescue almost anything. 

Yes, those stools are as low as they look! It was pretty much a squat.

Next stop: the MAAT - Museum of Art, Architecture and Technology, where the architecture was more captivating than most of the exhibits. 

Rob enjoyed a Congolese video piece, and we both pondered a curious light installation. As for the artist with 500 works on display... let’s just say, some art is better admired from afar.

Dinner was a triumph at Bastardo, where we feasted on pork cheeks so tender they practically melted. The Basque cheesecake ended the night on a sweet note, as did our newfound confidence in Lisbon’s public transit. Almost.

Forgotten essentials: Rob's toothbrush and water bottle. Oh well, at least our taste in dinner spots is flawless.

Beef lasagna on planes: surprisingly edible.

Time Out Market: clams = great, bread = mandatory.

Lisbon hotel door locks: designed for puzzle enthusiasts.

Hills, hills, and more hills. Why is everything uphill both ways? Look for the hidden elevators.

Stay tuned for Munich, where we’ll undoubtedly forget something crucial again! 

Stunning architecture, super walkable, cheap and tasty eats at Time Out Market, Anthony Bourdain-approved spots, and our own hidden gems—we could’ve happily stayed much longer!

Journey to Lisbon, Portugal: A Comedy of Delays, Detours, and Dinners