Koh Phangan: Croissants, Coral Mazes & That %#&$ing Bird

The moment we left DDHut and Koh Tao, we felt the stress lift. Between the never-ending demolition noise, spotty WiFi, and general lack of charm, we won’t be rushing back. Rob risked life and limb riding in the open bed of a pickup truck to the pier, texting Andy mid-bounce. Dramamine was required for the single-hull ferry ride (not a catamaran this time), but we made it. A private driver whisked us away from the Koh Phangan pier for 500 Baht—money very well spent.

Koh Phangan was immediately a win—wider, calmer streets and a laid-back energy that made Koh Tao seem like a toddler hopped up on Red Bull. We checked into Bougain Villas, brand-new and modern, but with some... design flaws.

Bathroom counter space? Also nonexistent.

A fingerprint-safe that worked for every single fingerprint? Reassuring! (They replaced it with an old-school safe that now just sits on the closet floor.)

Unfrosted bathroom window… and a nearby camera. (Suspicious.)

Still, the bay was gorgeous—straight out of a movie. But a villa without a lounge chair? Or a hammock?! (Just straight back wicker chairs without cushions!?) We fixed that by grabbing an air hammock across the street and Kim convincing the owner to snag us a lounger from another villa.

Forget roosters. The Asian Koel is a bird straight from the depths of hell. Every morning, its call sounded like a car alarm being strangled. We quickly learned to sleep with earplugs.

Morning Rituals & The Great Croissant Affair

The MVP of our trip? Café Thakrus. Every morning, Rob had fried egg on rice with spicy pork and a flat white. Kim? Croissants. Many croissants. (Some were for later. Allegedly.) We scientifically confirmed this café had the best croissants on the island—by ordering them daily.

Island Life: Snorkeling, Scooters & Restaurant Wins

Snorkeling: Rob swam with parrotfish every day. Visibility? Meh. Algae? Plenty. Nearly getting stuck in a coral maze? Once.

Scooters: NECESSARY. A 10-minute ride turns into an hour-long trek without one. (We would not be flying around wearing just a Swimsuit though.) Molotov cocktails are available on every corner!

Laundry: 4kg for 200 Baht? We will never hand-wash again.

Beach Dinners: Idyllic… except for the free-range children.

Hiking: Kim's daily walks put her to the test. There are some serious hills on this island.

Anjali – Retro Thai vibes with retro bikes, Singer sewing machines and VHS tapes.

Pure Pure Kitchen – Tiny but mighty. The best view and the best food for the price.

Thai Food by Noonin – A roadside gem that looks like a smoothie shack but serves killer stir-fried chili and basil with your choice of protein.

Lin Restaurant – Cheap Pad Thai and locally grown weed.  Dinner and a show, it's fun watching tourists on scooters decide whether to take on the big hill. 

Reluctantly, we left Koh Phangan (but we’ll be back—with a scooter license). 

After a painful group transfer (why do we do this to ourselves?), we reached Pawanthorn Hotel on Koh Samui, complete with a private pool and the best restaurant of the trip: Khun Ying’s Kitchen & Bar.

Dinner: Massamun curry beef cheeks & crispy fried baguette appetizers with minced pork and crab spread - both with an epic view.

Shared desserts (obviously): A fudge brownie & a banana roti (with ice cream, of course.)

Breakfast: “I wish we had another day here just for this food and this view.” – Kim, devouring her breakfast fried rice and yet another croissant.

Koh Phangan stole our hearts. We’ll be back—on two wheels, far away from That %#&$ing bird, and with plenty of storage for all of Kim’s croissants.